How exciting, my first ever blog post. As I've got older I have found myself with a constant inner dialogue which is basically realising that I'm getting older and am only just beginning to learn about the world in which I live. For example, there doesn't seem much point in voting as the 'system' supports the more conservative viewpoint. And as someone who believes in equality for all that's been a sad realisation. All that energy I invested in CND marches, the march against the Poll Tax etc etc could have been put to better use. Certainly my dreams wouldn't have been so harshly shattered. 

So what would I have done if I had my time over again? I would have tried harder not to have been a teenage mum because in the 1980's that was hard. I would have gone to more live music events. I would have trained to be a doctor and not the midwife that I eventually became. I would have had higher expectations of myself that's for sure. 

Blimey I've just read that back and I sound so serious. I'm not usually but I guess trying to survive during a pandemic with pre-existing health conditions (more about that at some point) and also facing the big 60 I guess things are a little serious at the moment. Also 2020 was the year I let my true hair colour emerge and am exactly the same grey as Nigel Havers - a little claim to fame there! Actually I quite like it, I hid it within a red henna dye for many years and it's nice to see a new colour on my head. To offset the 'going grey' years I had my head shaved at the sides and left the top longer and curlier. It's a funky cut and I feel happy going into my 60's with it. I'm not one to care too much about my looks really, I don't wear make up very often and my skin care consists of moisturising inside and out, that's pretty much it. I feel sad for young women with lovely fresh skin applying so much make up before they will be seen out of their house or on their vlogs/Instagram etc. I follow a few young women on Instagram/YouTube etc as I'm fascinated by their amazing confidence by featuring in such a public forum and yet appearing to have many insecurities and anxieties. I worry about their lack of resilience particularly when they are frequently judged so harshly by their peers. 

Anyway I will be back but for now I have to sign off to unpack the Morrisons shopping delivery. Speak again soon